Invective Abounds

John Tomase is a douchebag. If I knew how to google-bomb, I would try to organize a campaign wherein his name typed into google would result in the top 5-10 results being women’s products.

Arlen Specter is an expurgated unprintable. He is a socialist and should retire and go home to Pennsylvania, where he can conspire and plot on ways to make life miserable for the rest of us.

I won’t link to either of them or their nonsensical ramblings. The Boston Herald has pissed me off incredibly, but since I get their product for free on the intartubes, I’m not sure how I can show them my displeasure besides maybe a sternly worded letter to the editor.

UPDATE:

See comment #3 below, then read here:

Nice article about Okajima-san, but you write that he’s “literally
off to one of the hottest starts in history”. You mean he is
“figuratively off to one of the hottest starts in history”,
otherwise I’d like to see data saying that the temperature of the
stadium, his pitches, or his body was higher than any previously
recorded. You’ll hear a lot of this from other grammar Nazis like
me. Try to use the word “literally” only when you could use the
word “figuratively” and it still makes sense. Example, if A-Fraud
hadn’t pooped for three weeks and was in danger of having sepsis
from the backup of faeces in his system, you could say that he was
“literally full of shit”. If none of that were true, but he said he
doesn’t like dudes, you could say that he was “figuratively full of
shit”. Cheers!

To which he responded:

Umm, yeah. I’m not doing that. I meant literally. I’m fine with colloquialisms
and the colloquial meaning of “He’s literally off to a hot start,” is “it is
not an exaggeration to say he is off to one of the hottest starts ever.” Shrug.

Let the grammar police come. I’m barricading myself inside the walls of our
fine tabloid, armed with split infinitives and dangling prepositions. Bring it
on!

Cheers!

John

~ by kinshay on 2008-02-03.

No Responses Yet to “Invective Abounds”

  1. which company is a) the biggest contributor to the campaign coffers of arlen “don’t call me phil” specter, and b) is in a major pissing contest over the pricing of the NFL network ?

    Comcast.

  2. also, matt walsh, i’m calling you out, you little pussy. you got something ? let’s see it. bitch.

  3. I remember why I bitched about Fat John Tomasshole before. Fatboy totally misused the world “literally”, which everyone knows is my worst pet peeve. I wrote him an e-mail to help him fix his problem with usage, so he wouldn’t get in trouble with his editors in the future if he went to work for a real newspaper. See above for the text of the e-mail which figuratively shouts “tool” with every character of his response.

  4. I’m sorry, but that’s about the best reporter response to a G.N. that I’ve ever read. If I got an email like the one you sent I would probably cry like a girl. Oh wait…

  5. But he was incorrect. As an example, I was corrected by a specialist one time on whether or not I should wear my hat while pumping gas. I mistakenly thought that the thing covering the gas pumps was “overhead cover”, and he pointed me to AR 670-1 and the 25th ID Blue Book, which both state that one must be indoors to remain uncovered, not “under overhead cover”. He was right and I was wrong, but 8 out of 10 people thought like I did. Just because bunches of people think it is right does not make it right.

    “Literally” does not mean “not an exaggeration”, it means that something is completely and unequivocally true, the opposite of figuratively. One cannot “literally” have a “hot start” unless it involves temperature or spiciness at the beginning of an event.

  6. Ah well, whether you are correct or not is not my point. It’s that I cannot imagine living the life of a reporter who writes X thousand words per week and is barraged with people attacking his/her grammar. Though John appears to be getting plenty of heat from the actual content of his writing so maybe he welcomes such things.

    Normally I would just shut up and let you vent but you’ve hit upon my own personal pet peeve.

  7. Da Kine wins both for his intellectual argument and the fact that John Tomase is both a figurative douche bag and a literal chump. Dope slap a bitch, won’t you.

  8. …and dope slap me as well for forgetting the question mark.

  9. This on a web site where half the authors and comment makers refuse to use capital letters…

  10. Fuck you in the goat ass.

    Sorry. Pats withdrawal/mourning.

  11. apparently commenters are not fans of the tomase.

    http://www.bostonherald.com/sports/football/patriots/view.bg?articleid=1071911&format=comments

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