I Want My Kids to Suck

I already talked to Sean about this, but I’m not done venting, so I’m opening it up for everyone.

My second Tivo somehow got tuned to MTV, and when I flipped onto it, there was a show airing called My Super Sweet 16. Never mind the use of the numeral rather than writing out the word “sixteen” in the title (which I find gauche). This show made me want to punch a frigging wall.

Long story shoht, the concept behind this thing is as follows: some rich parents spend stupid amounts of money for their daughters’ sixteenth birthday parties.  The exposition prior to the party details the ridiculous amount of spoiling that these little douchebags receive from their “loving” parents.

The one I saw five minutes of took place in New Hampshire of all places, and some filthy little rich beyatch wanted a toga party for all of her wee rich beyatch friends, and was mad pissed at her townie father for saying he wouldn’t get her a car for her birthday present. He gave her the choice of a lavish party or a car, and she chose the former, but thought it was unfair that she couldn’t have both. Her pops sounded like he was from Southie or someplace, and I can just imagine that he made it big with a plumbing company and fled to the suburbs of NH so that his children could live well.

I can’t go into too much detail because my brain will burst with hatred, but this little femschmuck had a lavish party, with ice sculpture, a tailored toga, hundreds of guests, and all this shit that cost well north of 100Gs, and her dad gets her a Mercedes to boot.  Holy Christ, I’m pissed just thinking about it!

Beware: filthy language to follow.

Bottom line at the end: what does any parent who is fucking stupid enough to do this for their child think they are accomplishing?  What are their motivations?  Do they think the spoiled rotten kid will love them more? Do they think their waste-o-oxygen children will grow up well-adjusted and become a useful member of society?  If you spend more than a couple hundred bucks on a party for anything prior to college, then you are an idiot.  If you are rich, and let your child flaunt your net worth, than they will 100% (to quote Sean) become a filthy cunt as an adult.

Please, for the love of all things good and holy, someone explain to me why the fuck these parents are so fucking stupid and why they are raising a generation of conformist consumeristic morons who don’t know who the POTUS is, but know that Celebrity X was wearing Burberry at the Oscars, with matching Gucci thingamabobs! Help me, please.

~ by kinshay on 2006-05-15.

No Responses Yet to “I Want My Kids to Suck”

  1. Glad you didn’t stick around for an episode of “Your Momma!” Methink that would’ve made your head explode.

  2. Agreed.

    Rachel and I got yelled at by the grandmothers when we suggested that Bri did not need the 35 – 40 presents she would get on her birthday, and instead pick a charity the kids/parents could donate to in her name. She’d still get 5 or 6 presents she would appreciate, not 40 she would get spoiled by and take for granted…

  3. For my sixteenth birthday I asked my Dad for a car. My dad laughed and said, “Get a job.”
    “I have a job,” I say.
    “So tell me why we’re having this conversation then?”

    I saved up some cash and bought my first whip a year later for $800; a ’84 Accord with 120,000 miles and more hail damage then the back of Britney Spears’ legs. I drove that car to hell and back and it lasted me almost 8 years. The lessons I learned: I appreciated the car more because I had to work for it and my Dad was a mean son of a bitch.

  4. Too be honest, most of what you guys write on this site, baffles the hell out of me, but this is one subject I can chime in on.

    I have been lucky enough to very several episodes of this monstrosity and all I have to say is AMEN to all the above.

    However, I have found that pointing out the despicable behavoir of these “children”. Is saving me a lot of time in the decipline department. I’ve found that phrases like, “If either of you ever act like that, you won’t live to attend the modest party I do through you!!!” and “you two know if I could reach through the TV, I’d straighten her/his a$$ out quickly!!”

    One final note: I know I’m the sister of four boys and mother of two, so it’s hard for me to comment on todays girls fashions. But what father in his right mind would allow his 16 year old daughter to wear a dress that shows almost everything they own. Some of the, and I use this term losely, young ladies go for the Princess look, but there have been several that MY GOD, what were their parents thinking. My example is the Arabian theme with the birthday girl belly dancing. There was something definately off about the way her father looked at her. I know this is supposed to be the rich kids right of passage, but do that have to do it looking like whores. Sean, you have girls, want to way in on this one.

  5. I’ve been thinking about this lately after playing “It Takes a Nation of Millions To Hold Us Back” at work one night. While I don’t agree with everything Chuck D. has to say, I was amazed (again) by the depth of his lyrics and the power of his delivery. Highlighting his delivery with the well articulated madness of Flava Flav gives each song the aesthetic of a million subway conversations. Because of the careful cutting and looping by the Bomb Squad, I decided (again) that Hank Shocklee was a genius. Then this high school girl working for me interrupts my silent praise to tell me that she hoped Flava of Love comes back for a second season because the people on it are so ghetto. I

  6. …? Please, please finish!

  7. yeah man, you what ?

  8. I must have somehow erased that last part before I published…sorry. I was going off topic and sounding like a granddad on some “Oh the kids these days” tirade because of how much the whole “ghetto” thing pisses me off. I mean, c’mon, who are a bunch of white kids from some farmtown to call anything ghetto. They have the permission, sirs, to go fuck themselves with America’s Next Top Model, Project Runway (Nikki Hilton in the 10 seconds of the episode/shit storm that I saw: “Hi Guys. I’m Nikki Hilton. I love fashion and I know you love fashion, so let’s do something important today.” Whatever. Go fuck yourself.), or whatever new bottom of the barrel concept show hits the screen. What I’m talking about with the whole P.E. thing, is the loss of substance in at least the music that’s on TV whenever they might deem it okay to play a video. I mean, is Jesus Walks really that interesting? Where’s the opportunity to hear something that I can dance to in a club and find something seriously interesting in while listening in the car. And can someone explain to me how “Louder Than a Bomb” wasn’t written, like, 2 weeks ago?

  9. We’re not the only ones with white hot hatred for My Super Sweet 16; check it:


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