More Trek

As a bit of coincidence, considering my last post, the next Trek movie has been announced:

Paramount has hired Mission: Impossible III director J.J. Abrams to write, direct and produce the 11th Star Trek feature film, aiming for a 2008 release, Variety reported. Damon Lindelof, who co-created Lost with Abrams, and Bryan Burk, who produces Lost, have also been tapped to produce the yet-to-be-titled feature.

Supposably, it will be a bit of a backstory on Kirk, Spock, et al. Mad props to JJ for Lost and Alias, but Star Trek needs my help more than his.

Fuck the movies. ST needs a new series that doesn’t suck donkey scrote. That series? Star Trek: Federation Ground Forces. People are interested in the Army now, BSG has some serious military implications and is crazy popular, and nobody every properly explained how Miles O’Brien could go from running a transporter to kicking it crazy like an 11B, so ST:FGF is the perfect solution.

It’s easy. You have a Navy crew with the same uniforms as TNG and all that “Mr. Smith” and “Mr. Jones”, plus counselors and shit, but the ship isn’t built for exploration: it’s built for bucking fools down. There are landing craft handled by an onboard contingent of ground pounders. History dictates that they would be Marines, but I say they should be Army folks, ’cause that’s what my paycheck says and I keeps it real.

Speaking of checks: when Paramount or whoever makes ST:FGF, I don’t need the loot. Give me a producing or consulting credit, and we’ll call it even.

I’m serious. Not about the production credit, but if Star Trek truly wants to gain new fans, they have to ditch the Modern bend to sci-fi and take the post-Modern view. For the noobs, modern=Star Trek (everything’s clean), post-Modern=Bladerunner (shit’s filthy and nobody speaks the same language). They can even take the middle ground, and have the Navy crew be modern, but the Army contingent deals with the ground truth, and ends up in post-Modern situations. The only good part of DS9 was when shit got more post-Modern than a cyberpunk novel.

~ by kinshay on 2006-04-22.

No Responses Yet to “More Trek”


  2. I have SAAB in the DVD player right now, but it was so muddled and confused that it is nowhere near as good as ST:FGF would be. Rather than 5 people, all the same rank, who are all pilots/infantry, FGF would have a real military structure, they’d visit new planets and civilizations, and kill them.

  3. Thinking hard through JinRo haze…

    The statue of liberty is kaput. The statue of liberty is kaput.

    Stupid aliens, thinking we’ll fall for some dumbass pysch games like that

    The New York Mets Suck

    Ill Kill Them all!!!

  4. So the answer is definitely going to be Star Trek: Kin-Shay Wars. My man the tech-ops fool runs the ship, Data-style, as he mourns our fave gift of the French wearing tin foil on his head while watching the ’86 series on repeat. And he’s totally twisted on Latin Boy’s favorite rice-y brew. Who’s he going to war with? Whoever the fuck he wants to, that’s who…and he’ll kill ’em all…

    My pants ripped onstage Friday night. I did the only logical thing that I could do: Thanked my taylor and finished the set.

  5. Dig the Ground Forces idea. I think they could tie in the backstory idea with that, too. As in, in the past the federation got involved in all manner of inter-planetary warfare (including primitive cultures) and eventually adopted the Prime Directive and the policy of non-involvement. I would love to see the origins of some of the OG cast, too.

    Lastly, regarding Edo’s take on Data running the ship. Fuck that. You need a balance of reasoning and feeling in leadership. That cold bastard would sacrifice the entire crew if he assumed that it was for the greater good.

  6. Broz will now get Executive Producer credit. Fucking awesome thinking! I’m sure they’ve covered the development of the prime directive in a shitload of novels, but you have a perfect idea on how to mesh the old with the new. Throw out whatever they had before (a la Young Sherlock Holmes), and put humans into situations where they are first discovering what it means to be one of many planets, and how they react to the critters they encounter. Rather than encountering them via viewscreen, they go to the ground and, if shit gets heavy, they call in the FGF. Or maybe the FGF has an expeditionary role in seeking out new life and civilization. Let the dude with the rifle boldly go where no squid has gone before.

  7. jdy has apparently never watched SAAB, for if he had, he would know I poorly recreated one of the best scenes it contained.

    As for the pants, did the cucumber fall out.

  8. Ah! I get it now. I was wondering why he mentioned the ’86 series, and figured it was an inside joke between you two.

  9. the cuke fell out earlier. i picked it up and threw it into the crowd, smacking Katie’s friend right between the eyes. Poor bastid, 3 people had ducked it before he took the shot.

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