It Ain’t the Drugs Writing

Thanks for all the compliments about my humour and wit being far superior while I’m drugged up, but I am putting that stuff on hold now for a minute. Now, I will be writing about something near and dear (in the British/Irish sense, too) to my heart: the Toyota FJ Cruiser.

Yellow FJ
I’m not going to go into too many specifics, because a google search should lead to all the info you want, but it is quick, powerful (239hp,278ft/lbs. torque), good off the road, simple, less expensive than other vehicles in its class, and wicked pissah in the aesthetics department.

It has not yet been released for sale, but I saw them test-driven by the dealers over the past week, and I haven’t had this sort of visceral reaction since I first saw Morena Baccarin on Firefly.

After reviewing all of the information about this mug on teh internets, 4×4 magazines, etc., I have made the commitment to buying one of these. Pending a road test, of course. I actually went to the Toyota dealer and put in an order for a black 4×4 with a 6-speed manual transmission, roof rack, and no amenities. I ain’t no soccer Mom. In the next 4-6 weeks, I should have a black one of these boys parked in my garage.
I’m thinking that no soccer Moms are going to want this vehicle anyway. There is no option for leather seats, after all. It is pretty inexpensive, but doesn’t that add one to the “not for yuppies” category? Those fokkers wear the fact that they overpay for their shit like a badge of honor.

Why am I so into this vehicle? First, I have always loved old-school offroading machines: Land Rover Series vehicles, Land Cruisers, CJ Jeeps, and the like. The FJ Cruiser is capturing that vibe nicely. Second, I love offroading. I used to go all the time with my buddies who had tricked out CJs, but since they left Hawaii, I have been offroading once: on the isle of Lanai in a rented Wrangler with automatic transmission. Finally, I am a cheap motherfucker. If someone as cheap as me wants something with such intensity, than it is a sign from above that it is meant to be.

(Again: I’m not drunk, I’m drugged, but the drugs have nothing to do with the decision to purchase.)

~ by kinshay on 2006-03-25.

No Responses Yet to “It Ain’t the Drugs Writing”

  1. Very interesting.
    Personally, I was deeply hurt by the styling of the FJ when the concepts first came out. It’s starting to grow on me a bit, though.
    What’s the milage s’posed to be on that brick, anyway?

  2. 19 mpg. That’s 35-45% less efficient than my current vehicle, but I only drive about 20 miles a day.

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