My Own Ramblings
Kinyahbrutha has gotten into the groove of rambling about shizznit, so I thought I’d take my own crack at it. Hwaet! The gimp speaks:
– Earlier this year, at the urging of a colleague, I got into Nip/Tuck. I hadn’t been able to get attached earlier because there were more plots/sub-plots than L.A. Law and I came in late in the game. DVDs and BitTorrent solved that. Tonight was the finale and the kids over at Kristin are bitching about it, but I thought it was pretty pissah.
– Johnny Damon signed with the Spankees. Here are some nice quips to use about that fucking traitor (the first I already used on Soxaholix)
1. Johnny Damon is fucking dead to me. Hey Johnny, have fun in NY with your stripper wife after Georgie makes you chop off your feminine hair, you noodle-armed bitch.
2. I heard his contract will not be official until he passes a physical. Whoops! I hope they don’t test for herpes, syphillis, or scabbies, on account of he’s married to a 10-dollar street hooer and prob’ly has a perfect storm of VD.
3. Hey Caveman, when Theo comes back to Boston, are you going to cuddle up at his feet and lick his toes like a mangy dog during away games at Fenway?
4. Johnny, can I get back the 15 hard-earned dollars I laid down for your shitty book about cheating on your first wife and taking the money from any club that would offer it, rather than sticking with the team you loved? (Deja-fucking-vu!) It just doesn’t feel right owning it now.
5. J-Damn, now that you and your good buddy Jason Giambi are playing together again, will you bulk up to Olympian (i.e. Zeus, Apollo) stature and start knocking the ball out of the park like Manny? Make sure you guys don’t share needles. I don’t want Jason to catch anything bad (re: quip 2) over and above shrunken testicles, back acne, and his “parasite infection” from two years ago.
And…scene.
– The new movie Munich looked fascinating to me, Y’all know I’m a mad Zionist and I dig on Spielberg’s work. Quick query, Steve: in a movie about Israeli people avenging the deaths of Israeli athletes, CAN’T YOU FIND A FUCKING JEW TO PLAY THE LEAD? Why the frig is The Hulk Hector that Australian schmuck Eric Bana cast in this role? I heard Lindsay Lohan isn’t doing too much these days. Why didn’t you cast her to play Golda Meir? You hurt me, Stevie. You hurt me real bad.
can’t wait to see it.
johnny Who?