In Case I Get Busted for Something
When work is slow, we sometimes speak on and on about entertainment. It is in that way that I was turned onto and am currently watching season one of Nip/Tuck, and I have turned many officemates into fans of Battlestar Galactica, Angel, Firefly, Rescue Me…the list goes on and on.
The subject of one of these conversations was TV lawyers. It went for a while since we had a two hour power outage. Let me get to the crux of the thing quickly: If you got falsely (hell, rightfully even) arrested for a crime, what TV lawyer would you want sitting behind the table with you? This can be from real life, drama, comedy…whatever. So you can pick Johnny Cochrane if you want, or you can pick Ally McBeal, if you’re a schmuck.
I didn’t have to think on it for more than five seconds when I came up with my answer: Eugene Young from The Practice. The reasons are manifold, but primarily it is because my man can get straight thuggish in the courtroom, and he will ruinate a witness with speed. For second chair, I’d have to have Stuart Markowicz from L.A. Law: not for his skill as a lawyer, but because he’s funny as hell and landed a fine-looking lady despite his goofy appearance.
Please comment on whom you would choose and why. For shits and giggles, prosecutors can be included. Since we’re dealing in fantasy here, the fantasy can include Ben Stone becoming a defense attorney and calling people “sir” in a mad disrespectful way on your behalf.
The Corcoran Brothers 
I would take Arnie Becker (Corbin Bernsen) from LA Law. He was a cold-hearted bastard and arrogant as all get-out. I think that’s what makes for a good lawyer. Plus, he got more ass than a rental car.
You may be interested to know that Tucker was married to Jill Eikenberry in real life.
Alan Dershowitz, a la Reversal of Fortune, with a team of exuberant law school students. But all his court appearances would have to be made by his proxy, Ron Silver. In fact, Ron Silver plus a team of exuberant law school students would also be acceptable.
See, that’s what I’m talking about: the merger of reality and fantasy = your perfect defense attorney. Plus, Ron Silver has cast aside the bonds of Hollywood liberalism, so you know he can scrap.
I’m gonna have to go with Mac from JAG. I mean,
look at those cansshe has real courtroom presence..