Found Stuff

So I found my digital camera several weeks ago, with a bunch of pictures from Kuwait. It had some slight dings and scratches, what with the vicious car wreck and all, but it still works like a chahm. There were also several pictures from Bagram, Afghanistan, but they are boring and I shan’t display them here.

First up, there’s a picture of Colin Quinn, who came with a crew of yularious comics to Kuwait, then they were heading to Iraq for more USO shows. Here’s how it went down: I hear about the Colin Quinn show a day or two ahead of schedule, and since Tough Crowd was my favorite comedy show on TV (sorry, Arrested Development), I had to check it out. I actually went to the site of the show an hour or so ahead of time to shop at the Arifjan PX and stake out a good seat. Seeing as I planned on being there a while before anything happened, I brought a book with me for some light reading. The book was by Stephen King, but it was no horror, friends: it was about the Red Sox winning the World Series.

I have this book with me when I see one of the comedians, Robert Kelly, chilling outside the PX. He was on Tough Crowd several times and he was neighbors with TC regular Jim Norton, so I recognize him quickly. I mistakenly thought he was from NYC, however, so I went over, introduced myself, and immediately busted on the Chokees for losing 4 in a row and allowing my beloved Red Sox to take home their first championship in 86 years. He laughed and pointed out that he is a Red Sox fan originally from Meffa, but has lived in NYC for a while, hence the confusion. He then pointed out that one of his co-comics (I can’t recall the name, but he was a funny mofo) was from NYC and a huge Spankees fan, so he set up a way for us to go over and bust his balls hard. Long story short (remember that these guys flew 18 hours to a war zone to entertain folks of my ilk), we proceeded to shit on this cat for five minutes, with some talk of shoving 26 rings up certain orifices, and overpaid slappers, and Jeter drinking girl drinks. Now to the meat of it.

I am in the middle of some clever quip when I am literally almost tackled from behind, then locked in a bear hug. “What the fuck’s goin’ on ovah here? Who wants to fight?” says my unknown assailant. I break the embrace and turn around to see Colin Quinn himself shadow boxing and threatening to beat everyone up. That’s my introduction to my favorite comedian (sorry, Dave Chappelle).

We get to rapping and we literally talk for about 25 minutes. He wants to know what I do, where I’ve been, what Afghanistan was like, etc. I find out from him that Tough Crowd was cancelled and threaten violence on the Jon Stewart-loving execs at Comedy Central. I can’t remember verbatim what was said since it was such a long conversation and happened, oh, two days before I got brain damage, but there was some talk about his appearance on Celebrity Poker Showdown and the fact that Camryn Manheim was hitting on him even though I thought she like girls, when he pointed out that lots of actresses were “dykes” but they all hit on him anyway, because he’s so attractive. I point out that he has a show starting in about ten minutes, so he scoots off to perform outside. I know it was a long story, but funny as hell…to me.

This next picture is at Kuwait City International Airport, and shows us about to load a RTCH onto a C-17. This is the first time these things have been flown out of there, so the Air Force guys actually relied on my 88Ns (movement experts) to load it up properly. These are the monstrous things Seamus referred to us moving right before the ‘incident‘.

In the left of the foreground, next to the guy in the leather jacket, is MSG Barraza who is skillfully dipping while drinking coffee. It was 3 in the AM and we’d been up for a good 24 hours or so, so you can hardly blame him. In the middle ground, on the left and barely visible, are SGT Breuer and SPC(P) Salas, my movement gurus. Everyone else in uniform is Air Force, and driving the RTCH is the Kalmar representative, Johnotto Karlsson (sp.?), who hurried back from Iraq to help us because nobody else could drive it. I can’t remember who the guys in civilian clothes are.

Finally, here is us strapping that mug into the C-17.

Believe it or not, this is with less than 5% of the chains secured. There were gobs more chains to the rear, front, and sides before it was ready to fly. All four of us were throwing chains up and tightening them along with Johnotto and the entire Air Force crew (minus the pilots). You know there’s a lot to do when you have a captain and future sergeant major getting dirty. But that’s how we rolled. In the middle is SPC(P) Salas doing the tensioning right next to the blocking/bracing (wooden thingy) which we had to have special made. It prevents the suspension from travelling up and down during flight which can be a bit problematic when you’re carrying something that weighs as much as a tank.

~ by kinshay on 2005-10-17.

No Responses Yet to “Found Stuff”

  1. 1) shrimpy colin quinn got some big ass dimples, yo ! 2) sadly, the stephen king/O’Nan book sucked. 3) if you had packed the plane right, you could have squeezed TWO of the RTCHs in there and needed a lot less chains. you could have just filled in the sides with laundry or something. 4)post more pics or create a flicka-show.

  2. Isn’t Salas the one who tried to kill you?

  3. if salas had tried to kill him he’d a been dead. salas is a killing machine.

  4. I heard Salas once killed a man for eating his entree with a salad fork. That’s some hard core shit.

    I loved the video of Colin molesting a tv anchor on a morning show. Good times.

  5. The Stephen King book sucked so bad that it left a hickey on my reading hand. Something I noticed, that you all might have forgotten, is that the first picture proves that, even drugged up, I was smarter than you two schmuckawia. You guys both insisted that I must have been wearing my watch on the right wrist, causing the tendon slicing and subsequent blood all over my blessed Timex (refer to your free trip to Hawaii to ‘see me’. Which wrist is it on in the above pic, bitches?

  6. I would like it if Da Kine was A) whiter and/or B) hairier.

    I know both are impossible, I’m just sayin’.

  7. jake, maybe he can photoshop himself a lil’ lighter, like he moved his watch from one arm to the other.

  8. Jako, maybe you should remember that my Wolverine-like powers are inextricably linked to my hairiness and lack of colour. I don’t know about you, but I would prefer to have a skull that is harder than concrete while maintaining a hairy wgukeback, rather than be porpoise-smooth and tanned all over with a fecking eggshell holding my brain in.

  9. Haymus, did you put a white box whenever I comment to highlight the fact that I’m so pale, or is my Firefox akking crazy? Also, I just watched the CQ-molesting-the-news-chick video and almost peed myself. Wait, I did pee myself. I have to go clean up.

  10. It’s a feature of the new kubric, any time the post author comments, it stands out with the white style.

  11. is it the “stanley” kubric ?

  12. Doesn’t it figure, Colin is playing Boston this weekend and I am on call.

    10/21-22 Colin Quinn, from NBC’s “Saturday Night Live” & the host of Comedy Central’s “Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn”
    http://www.colinquinn.com Click on the link to the left or cut and paste into your browser.

    Mother-bitches

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