Two Excerpts Of Kin Shay’s Life

(To appreciate this, notice the giant ass beard I have in recent pictures) I had a dream the other night. I was at a customer’s location, staying in a hotel. I had grown my hair out about an inch, and was advised to go to the hotel stylist to have it styled, as it was too short to cut. (I have always been fascinated with the idea of coloring my hair stark black, etc.) The stylist noted my hair was too short for much, but could add highlights and moose, etc. She styled me up, I went back to my room. There I decided to shave. I did so then went to sleep. In my dream, I woke up and realized I had accidentally shaved my whole face. I had the eyes of Kin Yah and the jaw of Da Kine. All I could consider was how long til it grew back and how much of an idiot would I look like to the customer.

It is one thing to make a dramatic change in everyday life, quite another in front of people who have just met you for two days, then bam, radical change.

It reminded me of dream when I was working for Wells Fargo about getting shot, an being unable to fire back. The funnyt part is, I woke up, thought, wow, what a fucked up dream, but was not really comfortable til I gave the giant ass womb broom a good tug or two. Only the could I resume my rest.

Part two: The pride and disgust

Kin-Girl was doing some heavy duty cleaning, kids are fucking messy. She called me and asked me to pick up Bri from her mothers house. I of course said no problem, it was on my way home from work and I always try do help out. Bri was outside with my future step-father-in-law, whim I have taken to calling Skeeter. I strap Bri in to the back of the Jetta, and we start heading for home. Conversation:

Bri:”Hey Shay”
Me:”Yeah Sweetie?”
Bri:”I’ve had really bad gas at Nana’s house, and I feel another one coming.”
Me:”:That’s ok honey, do what you have to do”

At this point I should point out, whiole Bri will give a good toot, it never stinks, no room-clearer there

Me:”Jesus fucking Christ, What did Nana feed you?”

I open all windows of the car and turn off the AC which recirculates air from within the cabin. It reminds me of the time Kin Yah let one out in the family room and we all had to abandon the basement. Even with the windows open, it was oily and tasteable. I was thoroughly disgusted yet so proud at the same time. 6 years old, too young to know that is a boy’s game. God bless her.

~ by kinshay on 2005-08-13.

No Responses Yet to “Two Excerpts Of Kin Shay’s Life”

  1. I’m happy to read that ‘womb broom’ has made it into your vernacular. My hope is that it will one day take hold across the nation.

  2. I have every belief it will make it into the English Lexicon, which is why I always feel the need to link back it’s original publishing. So there will be no doubt as to the original genius.

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