Half-Retarded Due to Accident

It took me a full 20 minutes to figure our how to log on to write this, and another 5 to remember my login and password. Whatever. To prove I am not truly half-retarded, check out my wonderful sports blog that I have been frequently updating for the past several weeks.

The most clever article I’ve written ever, including picture, was produced yesterday. Here it is in exact replica from the original:

Despite my disappointment with the results of the last game against the Phillies, I was excited to see the batting practice/alternate/vintage jerseys, i.e. the crimson ones with DC on the chest. I had to make a mad dash to the MLB site and order one for the biggest Nats fan in the world: my spouse.

Smitty 31

Since she loves the whole roster the same, she didn’t want to offend them by getting a Wilkerson, Castilla, or Loaiza shirt, so I got her one with a classic military nickname for someone with her maiden name and her Airborne School roster number.

The cleverness involved in that proves I’m mentally sharp.

I had a followup today with the doctor (a full-bird colonel) who oversaw both my surgeries and the evaluation of my remaining injuries. Mostly it involved him asking me to move my broken places (knee, arm, shoulder) in different ways, then measuring how well I did compared to expectation. Exact quote (I ensured I memorized it): “Wow. This is amazing. I wouldn’t expect this level of recovery and health out of someone who wasn’t three months post-op. I can’t believe we only did the surgery four weeks ago.” I shit you not. He really said that. I tried to tell Courtney that this proved what I had said earlier when I was drugged up: mainly, that if you want to ruin a member of the Irish race physically (i.e., kill him), you’d better give him two shots to the head, because flipping him over 3 times in a Mitsubishi mini-van and ejecting him onto the highway at 60+ MPH just won’t cut it.

Ed. Note – Da Kine’s Computer held on to the cookie from when I posted from it, so this post was under my name. I have changed it to reflect his authorship. – kinshay

~ by kinshay on 2005-04-29.

No Responses Yet to “Half-Retarded Due to Accident”

  1. Hey! You’re not SHAY!!!!!!!111111111eleventytwo

    Nevertheless, Erin Go Bragh ya tough fuck. 😉

  2. dude, looking at your melon, i’m not sure that two in the hat (pesci style) would do it. but let’s not put any theories to the test.

    by the by, for having never met most of us (i actually met jake and the hez-stuh for two seconds after they had rock climbed in braintree w/ miracle ed) jake’s enthusiasm gives him the bad motherf’er of the week award. w00t, jake (and thanks)!!

  3. If there was some damage done, I was just hoping it would cause a
    reduction of your ego. I can’t believe I’m happy to see it’s still intact too.

  4. i think all who know you can attest to the rapidity with which you and possibly all the corcoran brothers can grow back hair. i have often thought that this evidenced an increased metabolic rate. back hair may be the key to the abnormal dare i say slightly demonic rate of your recovery. it is your mutant power, kind of like wolverine but with out the muscles or tights.

  5. Dude. We gotta get him some tights!

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