Snow Storm, Shooting Up, Hair Loss

Yall have seen pictures of me. Sure you’re kind enough not to mention the giant red spots you see, but you all know they are there. I have a severe case of psoriasis. It is extremely heart breaking and makes you not want to leave the house, meet new people etc. No one ever says anything, but it is fucking disgusting. I hated hugging people as it would leave a flaking snowstorm on their coat.

For example of what it is like:

Note the bumpy raised red forehead, the white peppering on the shirt, trapped by the waffle pattern. That was a couple of years ago, it got much worse since then:

Note how it spread on my neck, that continued all the way over my scalp.

I could not leave a seat without a trail. My black interior Jetta looked like an ashtray. I wanted it gone. I was so sick of it. I tried treatments before, ointments, lotions, vitamin E, all to no avail. They would help a bit at first, then it would come back worse than ever. I swore I would get it treated no matter what, and when it was I would shave my head.

So I got me a job, with it, health insurance. I got my vasectomy, then I went to the dermatologist. I wanted to try Enbrel. Doc said Blue Cross wouldn’t pay for it unless I tried something else first. As long as it is a systemic treatment, not hunting down patches here and there I replied. He gave me a prescription for some pills.

They were horrible. My lips were so cracked they bled. The scaling went away and was replaced with bleeding raw patches that peeled off like a constant recovering sunburn. I was on that for two months, he took one look at me and said, We’re going to push for Enbrel. He gave the scrip, called blue cross, and I went to CVS.

I dropped off my scrip, and the tech wanted me to wait til she checked the system. Your lucky she tells me, you only have the co-pay, $25 a month. How much is it retail I queried. Hmmm ‘bout $3,000. Holy Shit! If I were blue cross I would have made me bathe in virgin’s urine before shelling out that kind of money.

Here’s the fun part. Enbrel is not a pill. It is not a cream. It is a pre-filled syringe I am supposed to give myself. Now as some of you know, I have a thing about needles. I can take a shot, but I can’t look. When I have to give blood, I have to lay down and can’t watch, and I still get woozy and cry like a wee girl. It is not a pain thing, I never feel pain from a needle, they are too small. It’s the thought of the foriegn object penetrating my skin and staying there. Ech. And here I am supposed to give myself a shot?

The first one, I sat there for a good ten minutes waiting, pysching myself up for the deed. I could not believe I was about to do this to myself. I came so close to just running to Edo’s Mom to have her do it. But I knew I had to do it myself at some point, and start doing it right. I finally put the needle in, plunged it into my flesh slowly. I finished, took the needle out, threw up three times, and almost passed out. I was covered in sweat and had to lay down for a good half hour.

It got easier after that. Last Tuesday I shot myself while talking on the phone to Ghost Dog. I have no problem doing it at all. I give myself shots in the stomach! Thats some hard core shit right there.

How well does it work? you may ask …

See for yourself

~ by kinshay on 2005-02-12.

No Responses Yet to “Snow Storm, Shooting Up, Hair Loss”

  1. Where’s Seamus and how did Rasputin get a baby’s ass for a head?

    Mad props. All praise to Blue Cross for giving you this Mitzvah.

  2. Dute! That’s freakin’ awesome!
    Good on ya!

  3. Shay, I’m so happy for you I could cry. But then you’d bring out the key again and I might end up in the netherworld for eons & eons!

    Love, Mum

  4. Oh my God!!!!! You look amazing! I am so happy for you Shay- I know you’ve tried everything.

    Now if I may just add a friendly suggestion…

    Why don’t you try cropping your chin fur closer to your face? You look a little biblical with that shit hanging on your chin… other than that you look lovely.

  5. Congrats on the new “wunder cure.” And double congrats on that awesome womb broom you’re rocking on the chops.

  6. […] y before, and two young fellas complimented me on my womb broom (Thanks again for that one Matt!) You can also see Bri and Kin-Girl getting their air- […]

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