Haircuts and Hamm-men

Constantly on the lookout for further examples of cognitive dissonance, as per Jake’s request, I went to get a haircut yesterday. Even expecting it, I got dizzy. I trudged past military radars, howitzers, concertina wire, and sandbags, out of the Afghan sun. Sweaty, dusty, and a smidge stinky, I walked into an AAFES-sponsored barber shop. Inside were four women from the former SSRs cutting hair. There were stacks of American magazines (more recent than at home, I might add) and slow jams that would be found on any ‘urban’ station at home playing in the background. It looked like any barbershop you’ve ever been in, except the walls were unpainted plywood. If the women were Korean instead of Southwest Eurasian, it could have been Schofield. Expecting a bit of a communication problem, I said, “Skin on the sides, VERY short on top, da?” The lady (Uzbek, I would guess) said “Numbah three okay? You want to keep bangs?”

‘Number three on the top and skin on the sides, keep the bangs’ is my usual order at Schofield. It freaked me out. This lady spent 45 minutes and gave me the best military haircut of my life. Better than the bruvas at Aberdeen, even.

From there I returned to work. I was doing some spreadsheet or other and a gathering of three signal folks and our S3 developed over my shoulder. I turned and looked at one of the signal folks (not knowing his rank or anything) and said “I know you.” I didn’t, but I thought I did. 5 minutes later, I realized why. This cat looked exactly like Nomah. I mean, if he were at the South Shore Plaza, he’d be signing autographs. The resemblance was that real. I got up and moved around so I could get a better look at him. He was a major and up close he still looked exactly like the former Sox stah.

I listened to him talk for a long time about something that had absolutely nothing to do with me, just so I could ask him if he was related or something. When he was done with the convo, I introduced myself and said, “New Bedford, sir?” He looked at me funny a second, then said “Fall River.” I knew from his quasi-RI accent he was from one area or t’other and guessed wrong on the 50/50 shot. Still, if he was a Massachusetts homeboy, he must know how much he looks like Nomah, right?

Wrong. He never heard that he looks like Nomah and hadn’t watched a Sox game in years, though he did follow the box scores.

~ by kinshay on 2004-09-23.