New Tech Term – Bevanized
We have developed a new technical term at work. Often, we try to communicate our technical data to very non-technical people. For example, to a geek, I would say “restart the service”. When writing up instructions for a sales person, or an administrator, I would have to write out:
Press Start Button >> Administrative Tools >> Services. On the right hand side of the new window, scroll down to and select Service Name. Right click, select Restart Service from the menu.
But how do you know if your instructions are dumb enough? We have a solution. We make one of our ESM named Bevans follow them. With the luck of Murphy does Bevans use his keyboard. So if he breaks something, go write dumber. Once Bevans is able to install/configure without fucking it up, it has been Bevanized, and can be safely sent out to customers.
The Corcoran Brothers 
This is on behalf of all us technophobes:
Stop calling us Philistines! You know we don’t know what that means.
I myself am not technophobic. I’m technopathic. I don’t fear it, I just want to destroy it.
Hit any key? You got it bitch! Wheres my hammer?
You son of a bitch! You stole my line. Of course, the original version was less PC, to wit:
I’m not homophobic, I’m homopathic. Gay people don’t scare me, I just want to kill them.
I was in high school. Gimme a break.