To Make up for a Lack of Me Posting

Seeing as how I am sharing so much as it is, I figure you all would enjoy if put the sticker chart online. The goal is twenty, so the swimmers are left to go, and the nokids are ejaculations counting towards the goal. Follow along, start a betting pool, root us on!

Course, the Procedure is not til Friday, and we have two wait one or two weeks after that, so I’ll be sure to put the post back on the front page when it is time.


I am going to tell you all a story I was going to keep to myself. It’s personal in nature, and affects Kin-Girl and I and our life together. We decided not to have any more children. I never wanted children, for many reasons. Genes, selfishness, complete lack of energy. I think Brianna will occupy all my free energy as it is. I love that little girl, there is nothing more I could want.

Kin-Girl had some desires to have more children, well one more child. But her reasons were not very strong, and did not compete with mine. She felt that the whole pregnancy experience would be better with me, which is true. I would dote on her like you would not believe. But then again, I dote on her now. The other reason she really wanted another child was so Brianna would have a sibling.

We had a long and reasoned discussion about these reasons. We were rather dismissive about the first one, as it does not count long term in our goals. As for the second, yes it would be good for Brianna to have a sibling. But I felt by the time we actually had a child, Brianna would be too old for the benefits of being raised with a brother or sister. And she is so close to all of Rachel’s family, all the cousins, etc. that she would not lose the sibling-like bond she has there.

But what turned Kin-Girl into being on the fence about kids to being very pro-no-more-kids was a vision. A vision of the future. And that vision included a boat. Built in every other weekend to ourselves. Early Retirement. Two lives together, family life with Rachel, Brianna, and me, and a life with me and my girl. Once Kin-Girl looked at in that light, in a whole future perspective, she was fast as hell to say – Go Get Snipped!

So that is the course of action. One week from today, at 10AM, I will have my balls cut. Vasectomy. Many of you are probably saying, but your so young, why make the decision now, you can wait. I really don’t want to. For one thing, the idea of Rachel getting pregnant horrifies me every month around that time. For another, She has been on birth control for her whole adult life, I really want her to stop taking the hormones it requires. And it would make me feel much more comfortable. I ask her often, “Are you sure you want to do this?” and always get an emphatic “Yes!” for a response.

So we go to my consult together on Monday. Long wait in the waiting room. I’ve had to piss for about an hour. It is starting to get bad. But I have this feeling. Yes I am only here for a consult, but I have a feeling the urologist takes urine from the delivery guy. So I hold it. First thing they do after calling my name is hand me a jar – we need a sample. No Problem.

We sit in the examination room waiting, blood pressure, temp, vitals, etc all taken. Doctor comes in, says his hellos. Asks what I know about the procedure. Apparently you don’t say vasectomy, or as I have started pronouncing it – veeersectomy. It’s all about a procedure. I heard the word procedure about 56 times in that office. He asks what I know about it, and I go off for a good 2 minutes. I explained the process, after effects, possible side effects, what you are supposed to do for how long, etc. He was impressed, as was Kin-Girl. He then proceeded to repeat back all the info I just gave him, plus a little more. I slipped him $20 and he told Kin-Girl that I HAD to spend next weekend on my back, no going out to family cookouts, etc. The review was over. And then the funniest thing ever happened.

The doctor looks at me and asks, with a straight face, “Mind if I take a look?” It took me a minute to recover, then I say “Sure” hop on down and drop trou. Kin-Girl was squirming in her seat trying her hardest not to giggle, making herself as small as possible as the doctor feels my nut satchel.

After that, we made the appointment for next Friday. Kin Yah Brutha and Cate will bring me. I am real bad about giving blood and having my ballbag cut and stuff, so the Doctor gave me a script for an Atavan to take before the procedure. It should be a good time.

Oh, and follow-up funny involved Kin-Girl’s mom asking how it went. I said “fine” but she had to know more. As delicately as she could, she asked, “Did he have to see your, ya know?” I said yes, and she ask if Rachel was in the room, what happened, etc. Then she asked if the Doctor had to touch it. I said he was very delicate and had a nice touch, we were going to have dinner. Very Very bizarre.

More follow-up, it takes 2 months or 20 ejaculations to “Clear the gun” of all live sperm. I forgot to ask what the record is for hitting the 20, but will next Friday. Kin-Girl has promised to make me a sticker chart to keep track of how many to go til we bring a “sample” in to check for live sperm. When it comes back clear (not fill the chart, but no sperm present) I get a prize. So I have that to look forward to.

~ by kinshay on 2004-06-27.

No Responses Yet to “To Make up for a Lack of Me Posting”

  1. If you want to have a genetically un-jacked-up child, you could always adopt a chinee baby. I hear there’s lots of them.

  2. Good on ya! I’ve long been a fan of the old snip job.

  3. Make sure to keep your junk on ice for a few days and when the doctor asks tell him you want to eat a steak “someplace nice.”

  4. 20 ejacs? That’s only one week on the road with Bang Circus. Back in the day when I was a boss I had made the appointment, however on the day of I had to fire someone and cover their shifts. I took that as a sign. A few friends have had it done and were back to work within a day. Everybody’s different though. Atavan and jerking off, sounds like a fun summer. Good luck

  5. PS: I attended the 10:10 am show of Farenheit 9-11 in Randolph this morning and highly recomend it. I don’t care what political side of the fence you hang wit it’s a good flick. Good luck with doz nutz

  6. Wow, I actually feel faint after reading about someone else’s impending surgery. TTTMI, but of course I read it all.

    By the way, would be nice to someday have a RSS feed for comments!! When you’re not so busy having things snipped of course.

  7. i’m sure you’ll set the record for 20, by your hand or kin-girl’s – and i ain’t talkin’ hands for countin’ b-yatch.

  8. hey, congratulations. seriously. the hardest part about getting a PROCEDURE is dealing with other people’s well-intentioned comments and convincing the doctor that you’re a reasonable adult who can make your own decisions.

  9. Hezzy’s super impressed you get Atavan. She’s a big fan.

  10. Jenn –
    I’m looking to see if we can get back a comment rss feed. It’s not currently built in, once I can use it, I’ll add it under recent comments so they show up there too…

  11. I’ve never had Atavan, or valium, or anything good really. I told him he could make it a suger pill, as long as it convinced me I was not going to pass out.

    Casey – One of the reasons Kin-Girl wanted to go was so when he asked, as he did, if WE were sure, she would say yes and that would be the end of it. That plan worked out well. Most people have been supportive, a few think it is too permanent too soon. I was leary to share this whole experience, but any legitamate excuse to talk about my scrote …

  12. I guess that Hawiian map art will be out of the question? Out of the 20- will one be saved in a special sock or other container os a “trophy?”

  13. Good luck Shay.

  14. Linehan should consider getting snipped. He has forty-three kids already.

  15. Hmmm, if Lin-a-man knocks up some cute Korean girls – do you know how hot his daughter would be? Irish-Korean makes the most beautiful girls.

  16. I’m curious Nicki, how many baby mommas in how many different cities do you have?

  17. Re: comment 15. Irish-Korean is right up there with English-Thai for hot chick hybrids, but Linehan-anything not Irish = freakish.

    Re: comment 16. Baby mamma drama. I just wanted to write it. That’s a funny phrase to write. Baby mamma drama.

  18. Shay, I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard. Reading your posts is something I really need to do more regularly. I was concerned (a little) about the too permanent, too young thing. However, I have complete faith in you and kin-girl to make the right decisions for your future. I wish you the fastest recovery, little or no discomfort and the happiest healthiest future with my girl. Love you lots and love the way you two love each other.

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